Ghosts In The Dallas Area, Stay Away From Fruit

Yesterday I was ecstatic (I know, you can't see me getting all giddy and soft, like a teenage girl who just met that Hannah Bute Montana chick, but it happens... everyday... when you're not around) to learn that 'dem Boys might be looking to sign Pacman Jones.

I've always loved Pacman (yea, I'm gonna link to my old articles... leave me alone... why must you judge me? I'm no longer ecstatic,) not because he's been personally responsible for crippling another human being (cause that is really messed up) but because his status as a walking punchline has twisted his story straight out of reality.

He's been suspended from the NFL for the last year, but as far as I can see he has never been convicted of the major crimes of which he's been accused.

Imagine, if you will (cause you will, and you will like it) that someone shoves you in a bar, and then sues you for assault after you shatter your beer mug over his head in self defense (I mean the first one was self defense. When you went to the glass blower to have the mug rebuilt, then found him at another bar, well that was just revenge for when that dude stole your girl and gave you herpes.) Then, even though you haven't gone to trial, your employer (if you're reading this blog it's either Bear Sterns or McDonald's...) fires you.

Now, obviously that Pacman ain't a genius. He continues to go to strip clubs, even though he always gets in some sort of incident whenever he enters. (I also think this is blown out of proportion. Jones is from a culture that celebrates strip clubs, just like Pedro Martinez and cock fighting, Mike Vick and dog fighting and white people and St. Patrick's Day fighting.)

But, if our country is supposed to have some quirky Innocent Before Proven Guilty rule, (which by the way if that isn't seven movie titles I'd be disappointed (according to IMDB there was one TV show, and another that was inverted...witty writers)) shouldn't our constitution also be applied to jobs?

Well until it does I'm going on strike... from visiting outdoor urinals... NO MORE. (especially ones with video cameras.)