A Birdman By Any Other Name

As some of you know I am fascinated by The Birdman, as I believe everyone should be. He was a mediocre player, always on mediocre teams, who garnered a lot of attention and a nickname far superior to his talent.

Today, tragically, I have learned he no longer considers himself, the Birdman.

He realized he couldn't carry the name after he hit rock bottom:

""I always had control over [drinking]. It was just when everything hit me all at once it was just like, 'What do I do? I'll find the answer at the bottom of a bottle,' " Andersen said. " 'That one didn't have the answer. Maybe I'll go to the next one. That wasn't there, try cans.' There wasn't no answers at the bottom of no cans.""

My only question is, who actually says "I'll find the answer at the bottom of this bottle," about themselves. Isn't that a cliche? Don't you literally try to numb your pain, not solve it.

I also like that he was crazy enough to have an actual conversation with himself. "Hey, Chris, how are you doing today?" "Fantastic, Chris! Let's go make a mockery out of the NBA." "Sounds fantastic, Chris... But first lets search for thing in bottles." "That'd be swell Chris! I am a racist." "That's a lie, Chris, and I hate you." (end scene)

I hope what he meant was he was searching for answers under the lids of bottles. Or in fortune cookies.

Here's hoping he takes my suggestion for his new name, The 3.5 Million Dollar Bench-Warmer (T3MDBW). It's not original, but it's way more accurate than his previous one.