Monday, March 3, 2008

Explaining The Eagles Off-Season Using iChat

So lately I've been putting a lot of thought into what the Eagles off-season has meant to me. My finally summary can only be described using pictures taken while having a video chat with A last night. See if you can keep up.... cause I'm sure this will make no sense whatsoever.

Honestly, since the NFL season ended a month ago, the Eagles have taken me on a roller coaster ride.Now I know a lot of people are excited about the acquisition of Asante Samuel, and I guess I get that, but I've always felt he was very overrated player. Samuel has made a career out of jumping routes and catching over thrown balls. I know, it seems impossible, but I'd say one out of every 6 interceptions he has made in his career has actually been impressive. I also spent a while wishing he slept with the fishes when he was torching the Eagles.

The main reason I'm apprehensive, though, is because I know why this signing took place. Whenever teams see a player play well against them, and then that player becomes available, they immediately try to scoop him up. You see it happen time and time again. My favorite was when the Igs played a preseason game against the Pats during which Deitrich Jells lit up the score board with something like four catches for a billion yards (I can't find any actual statistics from that game, but I know it happened.) Immediately afterwards the Eagles cut him and the Patriots picked him up. He didn't make it to the regular season.

No, he didn't die, he was just cut. What kind of sick world do you think this is?

Apparently a very sick world. So, back to the real point, Samuel is not a shut down corner, he's a flashy guy who's going to get burned A LOT. The only reason he performed so well against the Eagles is Donovan seems to be terrible at sight adjustments, and if the corner is going to cover tight and you still throw a WR screen, you will always ALWAYS get burned.

We also signed some guy named Chris Clemons, which means absolutely nothing and will mean absolutely nothing. I know this not because I've done a lot of research, because I haven't, but the Eagles never EVER steal someone in free agency. They never find a guy who developed into something they didnt' expect. They either pay a lot for big names, or give out garbage to garbage guys. Mediocre people remain mediocre in Philadelphia (I think that's the city's motto.)

Finally, the only thing that got me marginally excited was the faint prospect that Randy Moss could sign with the birds. Sadly, entertaining this prospect is like making out with yourself. It just doesn't have a point.

The Eagles aren't going to do it, even if they have the money and it would seem to be a perfect opportunity to bring back some of the spark we saw when TO first signed with the birds. But it ain't going to happen. Why? Because the birds have decided that their offense works. Which is weird because it seems the only thing it works at doing is hurting B West, and creating a lot of great opportunities for the other team. Why would you want someone to catch touchdowns that isn't Greg Lewis (I will always despise Greg Lewis the player. I'm sure he's a nice guy... actually I'm not... but the player Greg Lewis is a punk... He makes me want to scream at the TV.

)

So in the end I hope I've helped you understand the first three days of free-agency a little better, and if not... wipe that smug look off your face.

2 comments:

Steve Skolfield said...

what the hell is going on in this blog?!?

Chip said...

Oh you know what's going on... Maybe if you didn't fall asleep at movies you would be shown in pictures too.