A day off can do magical things for a person… it can lead to many thoughts.
Please don’t recommend something by telling me I’m going to love it. That is way to much pressure. Now if I don’t love it I feel like I’m disappointing you, and that sucks. Also please don’t pee on my bed and tell me it’s raining. My bed is indoors and you are a liar.
Today is a one of the most important days in my natural life (in the sense that every current day is the most important because it means you’re still alive.) Today is the day that Chris Andersen officially returns to the NBA.
Why is that important, you ask (snarky jerk). Well mainly because Andersen is home to one of the NBA’s greatest nicknames, The Birdman. (What happened to that boy? (that’s a rapping joke… wrong crowd… that would have killed in Harlem.... of course I might have been killed... so looks like I can't win on this one.))
I believe that there has never been a less deserving player of such a great nickname. Think of all the skill and grace that it implies, and the fact that it’s stuck on this chucklehead who can’t even finish a dunk during a dunk contest.
Current guys like Tim Duncan (The Big Fundamental) and Dwayne Wade (Flash) have pretty mediocre name. Kobe and Lebron don’t even have them, but I guess that’s what happens why you can go by one name. Shaq changes his every week (Diesel, the Big Aristotle, the Small Extra Cheese Little Caesar.)
The great names seem to be all but gone and instead we’ve taken to given the names to people that should never get off the bench (mine used to be MF which actually stood for Midget Forward, but a referee once completely misunderstood that one and almost threw my buddy KJ out of a game for calling me it.)
Andersen has been sitting out for two years because he failed a mystery drug test (no one will say what he was one but we can be sure of a few things. It certainly wasn’t performance enhancing, so it was probably Airborne) and ESPN still insists on calling him Chris “Birdman” Andersen in every article. For a guy who averaged 4 field goal attempts in his career, that’s impressive.
Sadly, all the smart nickname people have gone to NASCAR. When Smoke faces Herman the German yet they both lose out the The Candyman and Cousin Earl, you know you’ve seen something good. (Those are real nicknames, along with Sliced Bread.)
I don’t know what’s happened to major sports, but it seems like we’ve been relegated to using initials like LT or AI or just picking a random animal/superhero? What happened to the days of Prime Time and Crime Dog?
I wish I had an answer, but until I do I’m just gonna go try to pick a fight with Sliced Bread… I hear he likes his toast butter side up… and we all know that’s f@#ked up.
No comments:
Post a Comment