This morning I turned on Sportscenter and found myself craving animal carcass. Not just any animal carcass, RAW animal carcass. Why you ask? Commercials.
A decent looking girl behind a counter at a golf course snack stand that looks like a butcher shop serves up blended raw meat in a :30 segment brought to you by Slazenger.
At some point a puma walks in the background and the ball bleeds, but I didn’t have a problem with any of that. In fact that's a normal day out on the 18 for me. Except they forgot the decapitated gopher, but that's a story for another day.
If you’re going to promote that a ball has “raw distance” I’m never going to impressed if some jacked guy can hit said ball far. I hope he can, he looks like he could bench press a Buick. (The version below is an older commercial for Raw, but it still has the same stupid premise, strong guys hit the ball far.)
I would have set the commercial up with some dweebish looking guy, maybe Richard from Beauty and the Geek? Then have him use the weakest swing imaginable, propelling the ball 350 yards. Tell me you wouldn’t buy that ball?
No seriously tell me, and I’ll come over there and …. Well you don’t want to know.
Oh you do want to know... damn you caught me... I'm all talk. Leave me alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment