Showing posts with label movie review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie review. Show all posts

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Be Kind and Give It A Chance


It’s almost three days later, and I didn’t take notes… so it must be movie review time.

You know that feeling when you read a book, poem, Sanskrit, etc. and think it’s stupid, until someone later tells you, “The trees represented death,” and then it suddenly hits you that the movie really wasn’t that bad, you just didn’t get it. (What? Usually you still think it was dumb? Yea, I feel ya. Usually I would feel the exact same way.)

Well for me Be Kind Rewind was exactly that kind of movie. Sitting with Timtim and Sko as the only thing that stopped them from booing was the extra effort that they weren’t willing to commit, I actually enjoyed the film. (You are both dead to me.)

First, there were many priceless pieces, including Jack Black careening into a metal fence (Timtim was asleep at this point, thus losing all ability to judge the film), or several parts in the “sweded” movies Mos Def and Jack Black create. (Sweding basically means they make cheap 20 minute knock offs of major films including Ghostbusters and Rush Hour 2.)

Second, the film had a great heart. I’m a sucker for a feel good situation, it’s part of me being a cynical optimistic (I guess that’s better when I once filled out an application explaining why I was a introverted extrovert.) You liked the characters in the movie, you felt for them. As they blundered through every day life you wanted them to win, unless you were Sko. I think he wanted them to die.

Third, Be Kind had a point that didn’t try to change the world. It wasn’t Blood Diamond making me feel guilty, or Crash which required me to rethink every relationship I’ve ever had with someone of a different race. (Sko you need to apologize to Ping Ping. You know what you did.)

The point was that movies don’t matter in the long run. Whether a film had great acting or a great script was irrelevant. All that mattered was what you took away from it. If you watched Scarface and decided to dedicate your life to stopping cocaine imports it probably means something different to you than it does to every single rapper and tough guy college frat member. (Scarface sucked... I mean I guess cause he had a lot of money and shouted out catch phrases people were duped, but there is more than that to life. Just ask the Dell Dude. He knows.)

A films place in your memory is exactly where it should be, and that memory is all that matters. (I liked Pick of Destiny… seriously.)

What was most tragic about Be Kind Rewind was that no one told me what it meant till I read about it later at home. And for that reason it was dumb. But go see it.



This is the director's "sweded" trailer.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Third Eye Blind Hated This Movie

Movie reviews are best written three days after seeing a movie, during which you took no notes and may or may not have slept through 15- 75 minutes of the film.

Apparently I can continue because this review will fit that criteria.

(But Chip, I thought you only wrote about sports and cracked out observations about the idiotic things that pop into your head.)

Shut up, Mom.

Alright, so Jumper.

Usually I’m a big fan of a movie if it does the following things:

1. Has Sam Jackson

2. Has Hayden Christianson and is not a Star Wars film (thank you Shattered Glass, which is ironically what I used to gouge out my eyes after the credits.)

3. Takes a ridiculous premise (teleporting) treats it like it would only take 3 minutes for the average person to be ok with the fact that they can now do this ridiculous thing, and then claim that a major historical event was actually caused by this premise, and not by the reason we know to be true. (In this Oscar worthy script, Jumpers caused the inquisition. Suck on that Mel Brooks.)




4. Features a highly paid actor (Diane Lane) to appear in about 12 seconds of the movie.

So, as you probably guessed, Jumper did all those things, but sadly the only emotion that it pulled from me was when my contacts dried and I forced myself to cry (yes I can do that, be jealous) just to rewet them. Then the stranger sitting next to me saw me crying and thought it was because of Rachel Bilson’s powerful acting and then he started crying, and sooner than later everyone else was balling their eyes out. (that didn’t happen, this is a terrible review.)

That being said there are reasons to check this thing out. People like The Fast and the Furious because we as a society like speed (not the drug Pete Rose, watch it with the jokes.) This movie had crazy speed (and might have been better on drugs) which should bring in a solid box office number.

Also Rachel Bilson is obviously an attractive young lady, but I’m starting to question the characters she picks in movies. I’ve only seen her in two, but in The Last Kiss she’s tries to break up Zach Braff and his preggers gf by having sex with him (classy stuff,) and in this one she sleeps with someone that is clearly a felon and that she thought was dead for 10 years because her bf at the time killed him just because he was back, stared at her while she worked for 45 minutes and took her to Rome, without asking any questions. Girl has no standards.

My suggestions, instead of going to see Jumper, you should literally jump into traffic, then jump out. Then back in, and then back out.

Then give me the money you would have spent and we’ll call it even.